Blonde
by Agent Penguin
Summary: Draco doesnt like unanswered questions...slight slash HP/SS
1. Chapter 1

Joke: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

Answer: either simply walk way or say nothing.

A/N: That is the joke I used for this fanfic. I love creating new ways for Harry to torture and make fun of Draco! This takes place after the war and Snape has no reason to be so nasty to everyone anymore because he no longer has to be a spy.

Enjoy!

"Hey Malfoy, how do you keep a blonde in suspense?" Harry called across the isle to the Slytherin table. The blonde seventh year turned around with a sneer on his narrow face.

"How Potter?" Malfoy asked. With a face completely void of all emotion Harry turned back to face Ron and Hermione once more.

"Potter!" Malfoy hissed. "Potter answer me!" but Harry continued to ignore the blonde and laughed merrily with his fellow Gryffindors. With a huff Malfoy returned to his plate and snapped at anyone who dared talked to him.

* * *

"Potter, tell me how you keep a blonde in suspense!" Malfoy demanded after he cornered Harry when he exited the Great Hall after dinner. Harry smirked, his green eyes sparked mischievously, but he said nothing.

"Back off Malfoy," Ron said. The ginger seemed in on the joke because he couldn't keep a smile off his face.

"Not until he answers the question!" Draco growled pulling out his wand to emphasize his point. The grin on Ron's face vanished.

"Watch your self Malfoy," Ron said taking a step forward. Hermione placed a hand on his arm and Harry shook his head slightly.

"Is there a problem here?" a soft voice asked causing the four students to freeze momentarily.

"Professor," Malfoy said lowering his wand. "Potter asked me a question at dinner assaulting my intelligence and hair color then refused to answer it." Snape made eye contact with Harry briefly before raising an eyebrow at Draco.

"I don't know what disappoints me more," Snape said in a sinister voice. "Allowing Potter to get to you with one simple question or he was able to provoke you into pulling your wand in the middle of the Entrance hall where any teacher can stumble onto you little show." Malfoy's ears went pink.

"Yes," Ron answered in a murmur, Harry snorted.

"Wish to add something Mr. Weasley?" Snape snapped. Ron went a tad red as he shook his head.

"No sir," he mumbled. Snape looked over the four students that he fought along side of. There was something in the look on Potter's face that made him suspicious.

"For sake of argument, what did Potter ask you Mr. Malfoy?" But Draco seemed unwilling to answer. Snape crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at his student. "Do you really wish to give Potter the pleasure?" Malfoy seemed to get pinker around the ears.

"He asked me, how do you keep a blonde in suspense?" Malfoy finally said with some difficulty.

As Malfoy spoke Harry kept a close eye on Snape's face and as Malfoy repeated his question Harry saw what he was looking for. A brief upturn of Snape's lips and amusement flashed across his black eyes, but as quickly as it came, Snape was able to slip his emotionless mask back into place. The group stood in silence as Snape pondered the question. Ron, Harry and Hermione shot looks at each other.

"Yes, Potter, please do answer your question," Snape finally said looking Harry square in the eyes. "It's rather rude to walk away from an unanswered question."

Harry looked right back at Snape with determination and for several moments it seemed as if Harry wasn't going to answer Snape, but an evil smirk crossed his face and Snape knew what ever was going to come out of the young wizard's mouth couldn't have positive results.

"Ask me tomorrow," Harry said before walking away form the group and headed up to the common room.

* * *

Severus wrapped his arms around Harry as he moved to roll of the top of him and onto his back, moving Harry with him to lie across his chest. They were both still panting slightly. Severus casted a quick cleaning charm before pulling the covers up around them.

"How _do_ you keep a blonde in suspense?" Snape murmured quietly in the darkness. He heard Harry snort with amusement.

"The same way you keep a Slytherin in suspense," Harry said, his voice filled enjoyment.

"Is that so?" Harry nodded. "And how is that?"

"Ask me tomorrow," Harry said. Severus could hear the smile on his voice and he laughed deeply.

"Brat," he muttered affectionately.

"Git."

A/N: R&R's would be appreciated. Let me know what you think about Harry and Draco's little tiffs because I have a few more up my sleeve that I may write out…the world may never know!


	2. Chapter 2

Joke: How do you keep a blonde occupied for hours?

Write 'please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

A/N: The second installment to Blonde. I don't know how far I'm gonna run with this, I think at least one more chapter. I hope I can make you chuckle.

Enjoy!

Snape prowled around his classroom watching over, always watching carefully, his seventh year N.E.W.T class. The room was completely silent of all voices, but the usual hissing of a potion, rustling of papers, the sound of a knife blade on a chopping board and the occasional splash of an ingredient being added filled the hushed room, and they seemed to soothe Snape.

He walked past Potter who was slicing doxy wings and getting ready to add them to his smoking cobalt potion. Snape looked closely at Potter's face, realizing there was a look on it that didn't leave Severus with a warm fuzzy feeling. Snape walked past Harry, ignoring the nagging feeling that something was going to go wrong and moved from the Gryffindor side of the room to the Slytherin side. He paused as he walked past Draco.

"Mr. Malfoy," he spoke in a soft voice that made his student quiver. The blond froze in his movements. "Is there a reason why you have yet to start your potion when you only have fifteen minutes left of class?" Snape heard stools squeak and groan as his other students looked up from their potions and shift to get a better view of what was going on with the blushing blond in front of him. Snape noticed Draco move to stuff something into his robes, but caught his arm and saw the blond clutching something in his fist.

"Relax your hand," Snape ordered quietly, but firmly. After several seconds Draco obeyed. A piece of wrinkled parchment fell into Snape's waiting hand. The class around him held their breath as he unfolded it,

The words _**please turn over**_ were neatly printed on the parchment in black ink. Snape did as the words instructed and found the same message written on the opposite side. It only took Severus seconds to figure out the joke. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as his eyes clenched shut.

"You've been sitting here turning this piece of parchment over again and again this _whole_ _class_?" he asked in an icy tone. Draco nodded silently, his jaw set, staring straight ahead at the wall across the room. "And where did you get this note?" Draco sent a glare somewhere behind Snape who turned around and scanned his eyes over his class. Everyone was looking at him and Draco, everyone except a messy black back of a head that was still bent over his cauldron and Snape instantly knew what happened. He swept over to where Harry was sitting and stood over him.

"Mr. Potter," he said in a deadly voice that made Harry freeze. "Explain yourself." He laid the crumpled piece of parchment on the table next to his student. Harry looked up at Snape with large, innocent green eyes that seemed to be magnified by his large round glasses. He blinked once, twice, before he smiled a smile that Snape knew never meant anything good.

"What's to explain sir?" Harry asked. "I just proved that Malfoy can follow directions perfectly, simple directions, but directions all the same." There were a few snorts and laughs that were covered up by coughs. Snape's left eye twitched.

"You had your doubts?" Snape asked with a raised eyebrow. Harry nodded.

"Yes professor, you see--"

"I've handed in a perfect potion every time for the past seven years Potter!" Malfoy yelled across the room. "The same can't be said about you!"

"You only passed because Snape played favorites!" Harry yelled back. Snape reached over and cuffed Harry in the back of the head.

"_Silence_!" he hissed glaring at the two students staring daggers at each other in front of him. "Potter, you will finish your potion and what ever grade you receive will be given to Mr. Malfoy."

"Professor--!" Harry began to protest, but Snape cut him off.

"You will do as I say and remain after class!" he growled and Harry knew better then to push his luck. "And if you do anything less then your usual pitiful attempt and purposefully spoil you potion, _there will be hell to pay_! Do you understand me Potter?"

"Yes sir," Harry said tightly, his cheeks growing warm. He sent a glare in Malfoy's direction. The blond smirked back arrogantly.

"Now get back to work. All of you!" Snape barked and everyone did as they were told.

* * *

Severus Snape sat at his desk as the last of his seventh years filed out of the class room. He sat massaging his temple, willing his headache away.

"What in Merlin's name gave you any inkling that you could pull that kind of shit and get away with it?" he asked Harry who stood in front of his desk. At least his student had the decency to look abashed. Harry shrugged.

"I just wanted to see if—"

"_You will not make a mockery of my classroom_!" Snape snarled slamming his hand down on his desk. Harry startled and fell silent, looking down at the ground.

"I'm sorry Professor," Harry murmured. Severus sighed running a hand through his hair, sitting back in his chair studying his young partner and student. This situation needed to be handled delicately.

"Potions is a very exact and pristine branch of magic. You can not fool around in a Potion's classroom, the consequences can be severe," Snape explained quietly. Harry nodded.

"I'm sorry Professor, it seemed like a good idea at the time," Harry said. He still didn't bring his head up to meet his professor's gaze, finding something extraordinarily on the toe of his trainers. Snape smirked at Harry.

"Yes, most thoughts do seem like 'a good idea at the time'," Snape stood and walked around his desk and stood in front of Harry who looked up at him. "You will return here tonight at eight o'clock to brew today's potion again."

"Yes sir," Harry answered, knowing he was getting off easy.

"Then you will remain here after words and help me with the semi-annual inventory of the potions storage."

"Yes sir," Harry murmured again.

"And just because you have defeated the Dark Lord does not mean you can not make new enemies," Snape warned.

"I know sir," Harry answered.

"Don't push Draco too hard, he may seem harmless, but he can be as hot headed as your Weasley friend." Harry smiled slightly at this.

"Yes sir."

"Now, give me a kiss and get to class," Snape said briskly in teacher mode again. Harry smiled even wider.

"Yes sir," he said before pecking Severus on the lips quickly and turned to leave. Severus grabbed him by the arm and roughly pulled Harry back to him. Harry looked up at him in confusion.

"I said I wanted a kiss," he growled lowering his lips against Harry's. "Not some impish brush of the lips!" Harry smirked.

"Yes sir."

A/N: so being blonde makes this that much more fun to write. This blonde joke I found myself, but the one from the first chapter was actually used on me, so I some idea about Draco's feelings. I think only one more after this. Let me know if you want it to stay T rated or if I should bump it up to M.


End file.
